Idle chatter.

Sometimes when no one else is around on IRC, I continue writing anyway, in hopes that someone will come along, read what I wrote, and see how witty I am.

However, that seemingly never happens.
So I thought I'd re-post here, with the same hopes.
Blogger.com, don't dash my dreams the way that IRC did... I'm counting on you.


<irc self-convo>

Rockstar: oh, Dunkin Donuts.
Rockstar: why did you put so much cream cheese on my bagel.
Rockstar: it's not that it's terrible, but it's not like my favorite thing ever that i want so much of and i just can't get enough.
Rockstar: it clogs my arteries, DD.
Rockstar: and that's not very nice.
Rockstar: also, why was your credit card machine broken.
Rockstar: it's a good thing that I had used my credit card at all those other places when I could have used cash... because you might not have received my business otherwise.
Rockstar: a $10 bill only goes so far, DD.
Rockstar: in closing, stop tempting me with the three locations that I pass on my way to work.
Rockstar: love, matt.

</irc>

Henchmen?

So I saw this truck again on my way to work today. I'm not sure if it was the quasi-military figure or the "standard army stencil" type font that first struck me as odd, but something is certainly off about the whole thing. I think the casual onlooker might assume that this is some sort of package service or private courier... but the "all caps" nature of the business name/tagline doesn't really convey the same type of welcoming, trusting feel that Fedex or UPS would...

And when you pick the phrase apart, when was the last time you heard the words "ground force" in a non-warfare context?

Not to mention that "OVERNIGHT GROUND FORCE SYSTEMS" fails to have an online presence, lacking an official website, and the (very) few other links found with Google seem to hold similar assertions to mine... This being said, I think I'm going to go ahead and assume that this is a "henchmen for hire" organization like in James Bond movies, with countless, nameless goons willing to do your bidding for a steady paycheck (and apparently ready to mobilize within 24 hours).

The fact that I've seen this truck more than once on my way to work does nothing to assuage my lingering fears of a sinister plot brewing in South Henrietta...

Just testing out the new mouse.

/yep, it works.

Electrical Disturbances

So last night I'm trying to finish up remixing a demo song by my band, Long Story Short. And of course, it's not going well. That is to say, the computer isn't doing so hot... with more "system overload" errors than you can shake a stick at, I start to work on the problem. Drivers? Updated. Program? New version installed. Moved sound files to a free-er/better hard drive? Check. Yet still, I get these errors every time I hit play.

This might be surprising to anyone else, but I've really come to expect this type of thing to happen whenever electrical/electronic devices are involved. You see, I have come to realize that I have a poltergeist. This poltergeist seems to be electrical in nature, working diligently and vindictively to destroy and otherwise render inoperable anything vaguely electrical-related that I own.

A short history:
I blew up my first guitar amplifier by - oh no, get this - playing guitar through it. Another one (which was a gift) went the same way, except with more smoke. The CD drive on my first PC decided to up and die at a climactic part of one of my favorite video games. A few years ago my stereo exploded in a very pretty array of sparks while I was playing guitar, not to mention it giving me (and my speakers, and my various lights around the room) quite a shock. The monitor I had for my computer at one point had such a horrid, incessant high-pitched buzzing that it was dubbed (and subsequently labeled) the "evil machine," and the person I gave it to swore it was cursed.

My current monitor is going the same way, as it has terrible banding lines whenever there's something bright on screen... and it's started the same horrible high-pitch buzz.

I really could go on quite some time detailing the various electronic equipment that's been in my possession and soon after suffered some serious electrical issues. I won't even mention the various motherboards/processors/hard drives that have died at my unknowing hands.

It is due to these reasons that I have become aware of the poltergeist. At first, I thought it could be a super power, like the mutants in the X-Men universe, arriving after the onset of puberty... or perhaps a blast of uncontrollable magic when I'm angry or upset, like Harry Potter... or maybe an electro-magnetic pulse weapon that has come to live in my blood through a malfunctioning nano-technology of some sort. However, due to the very nature of the destruction - occuring at the most inopportune times, when I have an imminent deadline and such - that I have come to know that it is an alter-ego of sorts, an vicious electrical subconscious doppelganger.

Finally, I have come to terms with the fact that he will always be around, breaking my favorite toys, destroying any chance I have at living an easy life with the technology of this, the 21st century.

Being my polar opposite, I have named him Ttam Zciweleib.
Or "TZ" for short.
Not that naming him makes it any less frustrating.

Steve-eye the sailor man!

I'm strong to the finich
Cause I eats me spinach!

Pumpkin!

So this is my pumpkin this year. Hoo-ray!

Should I need to tell you what it is? Okay, it's Linda Blair from the Exorcist. Here are some unnecessary details and one of Amy's pumpkin :) Clicky to see 'em biggah.

Oh, and it's not really Linda Blair.

In the spirit of Halloween...

"Mommy, there's something wrong with my eye!"

Halloween 2k6

So this year we went to an "80's" themed party, and thus had to dress appropriately. Of course, knowing us, we couldn't do anything simple and/or easy, so we went as NES controllers. Notice we even have a cord and a plug :) Of course, they weren't exactly very "mobility-conscious" if you will, so we had our 80's style clothes underneath for when we took off the big boxes.

Awesome is that we won the costume contest, and the prize was one of those videogame paddle thingies that plugs directly into your TV and plays like five games! w00t!

MAKING OF:(Click teh pic for biggah looksee)

TOP (left to right): Taping the box together (in b&w... for some reason...), getting bored/aggrivated while waiting in line at Jo-Ann's to buy overpriced spraypaint, the plugs all taped up and painted, the painted box with black construction paper blackness.
BOTTOM (left to right): Painting the buttons, buttons glued on, and hand painted details x2.
NOT PICTURED: Amy sleeping on the couch while I painted.

Dad's Birthday

Roy makes up for years with no gifts by getting Dennis his first lightsaber.

Big Mistake

So Steve-o stayed home from work today because he thinks he might have pinkeye, and that he took a photo in case anyone asked about it... (you know how offices often ask for photographic proof of illness...) to which I replied "well c'mon... make with the photo!"

Stephen made the mistake of sending me said photo...
...
...with which I will inexorably photoshop and come up with backstories for.

Starting with a little mod I like to call "Laserbeam Eye"...

"I have lived among these mere mortals long enough," said the cybertronic unit Steve-0119 to himself. He often spoke aloud, just to hear his own synthetic polyvocal cords, which he believed were beautiful. "With my newly added l4z0rb34m eye, I will have no trouble defeating the quasi-futuristic city just behind me!" He powered on his facial circuits and set his expression to "semi-evil glare." He brought his finger to his face, questioning now whether his decision to place the laser's trigger directly beneath his eye was one that was as wise as he had originally thought. Nevertheless, he had to give it a proper test. "BZZAAP!" he shouted loudly, thinking how great it would be if his new death laser actually made that sound when it fired.

Ooh... black and white means artsy

So I got a little assignment at work to take photos documenting the construction of our new addition, which will be taking place over the course of a year or so. I did some that showed progress over time and whatnot, and then a couple random interesting ones too. I filtered colors, toned them and made them grayscale in Photoshop... like this one here:I put the other two on my DeviantArt site. Unless I have updated anything else there recently (ha!) they should still be in the "recent additions" box on my page. wewt.

Henna henna henna

(Whoa! Three hennas! Must be an important one!)
+10 points for anyone who gets that reference.

Anydangway, Amy and I did more henna designs last night. Here's how mine turned out:
Plus another 10 points if you know what it is! Recommendation: when wrapping with medical tape after henna paste is dry on skin, don't wrap all the way around your arm and leave it overnight. Unless you happen to like gross gluey dirt-magnet stickiness. Or if you particularly enjoy pulling out your arm hairs two or three at a time in a futile attempt to remove said sticky glue-ness. You know. One or the other.

UPDATE: So the design definitely got darker over the next night or two. It got a little blotchier, probably due to the fact that I happen to enjoy showering occasionally. Today:

I think about stuff like this all the time.

Q: What does an internet-savvy pirate say when he's leaving for a while?
A: Bee ARRRRRRR bee






...

sorry, internet.

w00tBot Libido

Proof that Matt's IRC bot has been infected by Richard's sexual prowess and has subsequently gone to the dark side:

(SteveHo) !8ball is my upstairs neighbor a complete fucktardlet?
(w00tbot) That's a negatory.
(SteveHo) !8ball you fucked her didn't you?
(w00tbot) OMGZ YES!!
(SteveHo) disgusting
(SteveHo) !8ball you know she's got two kids, and has had an overdose right?
(w00tbot) There's no way that COULDN'T be true.
(SteveHo) obviously
(SteveHo) !8ball did you also know that she brought home really old dudes and fucked them? Like fifty plus old?
(w00tbot) Aye, mate.
(SteveHo) !8ball you're a sick bastard
(w00tbot) What? Hello? Yes.
(SteveHo) The prosecution rests.

Oh noes, superheroes!

We got talking about superheroes on teh ol' IRC chat, and which ones we'd like to be. Rich said probably "The Shadow," which sounded cool to me... so I drew Rich as The Shadow.

THE RICH RYAN KNOWS!!

Then I made one for Steve-o without giving him a choice. Because this is how I see it going down:

Steve-o's Batman.

Um... think that's all for today.

My Office!

So I have a job now, and this is awesome. I like it lots so far. I don't even think they'd be that mad at me if they saw me blogging about it. w00t.

So this is my office.

Pretty boring so far, I know. And that so-called "motivational poster" with some dudes playing basketball? Two words: GOTTA GO. I'm sorry, but the word "Excel" and the tagline of "Dare to be your best" underneath some dude reaching for the hoop do not make me better at graphic design.


And here's my desk. Also relatively boring still, but working on it.


And of course, Robotman has found a home here as well. It's taken a little time for him to adjust to the new surroundings, but he's flexible.

XXX/// END COMMUNICATION \\\XXX

Fish fish.

So we went to the Monroe County fair yesterday. We saw booths of crafty things and prize-winning flowers, as well as ate big slices of pizza. (see fig. 1)

Fig.1: Pizza.

Also, we played the game where you try to throw a ping pong ball into the glass jars. We bought 35 balls and failed. But the carney guy apparently felt bad for us (after buying 35 balls) and gave us a prize goldfish anyway. So... sweet? I guess? After careful deliberation, we decided to name him "Bubs," which is short for "Bubbles," (which are in Amy's top five things of all time.) (See fig. 2)

Fig. 2: Bubs.

So he survived the night in the largest container we could find in the apartment (a pickle jar) so we thought he earned a real place to live and decided to make a trip to the lovely neighborhood Wal-Mart for a small fishtank. And maybe a friend too. Goldfish are social, (according to Wikipedia.)

Thus follows our trip(s) to Wal-Mart:

1. Went to Wal-Mart, got a small tank and another goldfish. He/she is pretty sweet. Lighter in color, poops all the time, but whatev. His name is "Lumos."
2. Came home, realized that pretty much every piece of the tank we bought was broken.
3. Went back to Wal-Mart, returned the broken tank, got a new one.
4. Came back home, started putting the tank together, realized that it was missing a plastic tube. The plastic tube that provides air, and pretty much stops the fish from being upside-down-fish.
5. Went back to freakin Wal-Mart, returned and got a new tank and grumped at everyone in our way.

So finally, a good tank. Now we gots fish. w00t!

Ooh... glowey.

Okay, so I realize I haven't posted on here in fo'eva. Cause anyone reads it? Right.

Anydangway, I bought some little LED thingies to geek out the inside of my computer. They look sweet.

Before...

After.
w00t! glowey blueness!

I realize that it's pretty pointless to have glowey things inside the case when there's no opening or window with which to see them... but hey, they were cheap.

Matt's geekdom = plus like a thousand.

Job Fair

Okay, the job fair wasn't that bad.

It was worse.

I swear there wasn't anything I got from it that I couldn't have gotten online. Okay, minus the terrible vinyl logo-emblazoned merchandise. I go there looking to lend my considerable expertise to a career with a great company... I looked super sweet, I gave out resumes, I talked to people... and I came home with mints.

Great. Thanks.

They taste like dissatisfaction.

lolrus

After being displeased with other so-called "lolruses" (or "lolri," as I like to call them) such as this, I decided making my own was the only way to go. So here he is, the jovial character himself.

Now it's official...

YYYESSSS!!!

Robotman!

Robotman is happy!

The !8BALL humped your mom!

My stapler is more punk than you.

Custom stapler mod ftw.

- Swingline Model #747xx, black

- Magnetic "mohawk" nickel-plated spikes with new model mini-rivets

- Custom-made "Bad Religion" decal

- Detachable mini battering ram with chrome-plated smasher ball (not pictured)

- Exceptionally large amounts of boredom while at work (also not pictured)

Just wait til it's old enough to get it's nose pierced...

Whorigami.

So I have an origami calendar. The kind where there's something new to fold every day, except on weekends... when you apparently have to find your own entertainment. Anydangway, the one for a couple days ago was a "tea kettle," but I think it looks more like one of those flying toasters from the old After Dark screensaver.

This photo illustration was brought to you by mspaint, my camera phone, google images, boredom at work, and the letter F.

Heard you lost this one

i hate work

I don't understand why things ever have to be more complicated than playing in the back yard and eating peanut butter and jelly in a treehouse.